How to Piss Off Your Customers: Farmers Insurance Version

Farmers Insurance certainly knows who to hire to make commercials.  After that, they fall flat on their face and also try the same tired schemes to trick people into getting their insurance.

This time of year, I have to pay my yearly to the insurance company for home and car.  This particular year, and, note that we haven’t had a claim in about 5 years, our yearly went up by about $350.00.  That’s a pretty big rise to swallow, especially when you’ve done nothing to warrant it.  I was told that all insurance companies are raising their rates due to the losses they’ve had to pay over the past year.

Excuse me?  Aren’t insurance companies supposed to pay out on claims?  Isn’t there money set aside just in case there are claims to be paid?  Insurance was the first form of legalized gambling.  Every year, the insurance company bets that you won’t have a claim.  If you do, then, sorry the insurance company made a bad bet.  So next year, it seems perfectly reasonable to raise your rate, because you are a more risky proposition.  But what about someone else?  Is it reasonable that your rates get raised because the guy down the street ran a red light and caused a 15 car accident?  Doesn’t make sense, does it?  But this is exactly what insurance companies do.  They don’t look at your track record, they look at the whole area.  So, if you live in an area where there’s been a lot of accidents, you’re screwed.

First, let’s dispose of that garbage phrase that gets trotted out all the time:  Insurance does not protect you.  Your house burns down whether you have insurance or not.  That guy rear-ends you whether you have insurance or not.  Insurance is not protection.  Your house, car, bodily parts still get damaged.  Insurance is just there to pay you to ease the pain of financial recovery.  They are betting on you not getting hurt.  Put your insurance policy between you and the fire and all that happens is that the paper gets burned up first, before you.

If you really think about it, Insurance is just a legalized scam.  They suck large amounts of money out of you on a monthly/quarterly/yearly basis.  In return you get a piece of paper that tells you that they might pay you some money if something happens.  Nope, sorry, you are not protected in case something happens.  They just pay you money.  If you’re lucky, you can recover some semblance of what your life used to be like.

Anyways, since my insurance bill went up, it’s time to look around to see if anything is better.  Now there is one thing that people forget:  Commercials are expensive and have to be paid for.  Where do you think the money comes from to make the commercials?  Your premiums.  If a company runs a lot of commercials, what do you think happens to your premium?  Yes, it goes up.

That notwithstanding, I decide to check three major insurance companies:  State Farm, Allstate and Farmers.  I told the local independent agency, through which I have been getting insurance, that I consider it an exercise in futility.  I didn’t realize how bad until I tried the Farmers website.

First, kudos to State Farm and Allstate.  They both made it easy to find an agent, so that I could get a quote on both home and auto.  I already knew that I would not be able to do that through the website.  The management of insurance companies is too stupid to realize that people would want to tag the two together because they offer a discount.  On the websites, you can choose either auto or home, not both.  Nor do they explain how to get the tag-team discount.  So I went directly to the local agent.  And, even better, the Allstate agent himself took my information, he didn’t shunt me over to a clerk.

Then we come to Farmers.  

Of course, on the website, they do just like everybody else, you can choose either home or auto and no discount explanation.  Then I find out that they ‘offer’ auto insurance through 21th Century.  Red lights went off ‘NO DISCOUNT APPROACHING!’  Still, I persevere.  I put in my zip code and try to find an agent.  Bingo!  I get the map of California (only on the other side of the country) and a big green button telling me to find our insurance information here.  I try a couple of more times from different webpages, with the same result, then finally click the green button.  Bang!  Right back to the start page.  How brilliant!

So I bite the bullet and put in my info for auto insurance, sure that something will tell me how to do the right maneuvers.  Wrong.  I get to the end, and, despite the fact that I had already inputted the amount that I’m paying now, just for auto, I get a quote for $200 more than that.  This is really, really stupid.  But wait, they didn’t quote yearly, they quote 6 months.  Unlike who they think they are getting, I can multiply by two.  The fact that they quoted 6 months, showing a lower price, means they were trying to trick me into thinking it was lower.  It’s similar to a bait and switch routine, they’re hoping the victim doesn’t notice that the yearly is greater.

I leave the page in disgust, but it ain’t over yet.  I immediately get a call from a 21^st Century secretary who tells me to hang on and she’ll put me through to an agent!  Doesn’t that make me feel like shit, the freaking agent can’t even call me himself.  I’m primed now and when the agent comes on, I let him have it.

“Hi, ____, I heard you’re looking for a great rate on auto insurance,” he begins.

“Well, I’m not getting one here, the rate you quoted is $200 more than I’m paying now…”  I begin.  I unroll all my displeasure with the website (and this call) onto him.  I expect him at some point to say something like, ‘Well, I’m sorry to hear that, let’s look at the details to see where we can save more money.”  That would have been adequate.  This guy is not adequate.  He makes meaningless noises that indicate that he was expecting to just going to take an address to send a bill.  I hang up on him.

As you notice, they’re using all the marginally legal tactics to get someone to sign up quick.  First there’s the cost misdirection, then the attempt at personal pressure.

Farmers!  Your website sucks!  And your alliance with 21^st Century sucks.  Leave the lame comedy in the commercials, huh?